Here I do not know anyone, no job, living in an empty apartment, a roommate I just met, and sleeping on the floor. Not exactly what I had in mind. I started studding the Bible by topics and this opened up many new insights for me. I studied topics such as pride and humility, evangelism, miracles, gifts of the spirit and the list goes on and on….
I found myself becoming more and more judgmental as my knowledge and understanding of the written word increased. I began to see more and more flaws in people including myself. The study of the Bible at first changed me for the better, but now I was changing into a self-righteous religious person and was completely unaware of it. I could see faults in everyone I met. When opportunity arose I did my best to jump into their lives to show them their faults so they could change. Not seeing my own arrogance. Many people I spoke with took what I had to say and improved their lives, other did not. I don’t recall offending anyone as I can communicate in an eloquent way; however the way I communicated did not really represent the judgmental way I was thinking.
I began to see the lack of love in the lives of people around me. I saw the selfishness in people. Everyone seemed to have a “what’s in it for me attitude”, including myself. I noticed what appeared to be acts of love but always seem to find a reason behind the act. This took me on a journey to seek and find what love really is. Is love only of God, are we capable of loving without a reason, can we truly extend love to others without wanting or receiving anything back? Was there anyone who lived that was capable of extending real love? This inspired my next topic to study out in the Bible “Love”, all in all it took around three months to study this topic out and is taking a life time of attempts to live it.
Love transformed me more than any topic I have ever studied out. I recall one special moment that happened as a result of letting Love transform me. I was living in a duplex with two other friends. My one roommate was an ex-marine and spoke to us as if we were marines. This particular morning my ex-marine roommate woke up early to study for an exam he was taking in school. He barged into my room and starting yelling at me as to the fact there was no coffee in the house and then he stormed out and back to his room to study. First off I did not drink coffee, at this time in my life, so why he came in to disclose this fact to me I was not sure, however I got up and went into the kitchen and was able to find some instant coffee. I made it and took it to his room, only for him to respond in an angry tone that he did not like instant coffee. So I then got dressed and went to the corner store, bought some coffee, made it and brought him another cup. He again remarked, “I don't drink instant coffee”, I simply turned to him and said it was regular coffee and left him to his studies. What amazed me was that I did not do this in defense, I was not angry, I merely did this because I wanted to, I genuinely wanted to serve him and show him kindness. What a miracle! I just had a “Miracle Moment” genuinely extending love to someone for no reason of gaining anything in return. This may sound like a small act, but it is the small acts of love that make a huge difference in our daily lives. Miracles can happen every day because everything that comes from love is a miracle. Our expressions of love create the miracles that happen in our lives and the lives of others. No miracles can occur separate from love.
In that moment I saw only a call for help, I was not in judgment. I did not even look at him as if he attacked me. I stepped into complete forgiveness of what appeared to be an attack on me and answered his call for help. That instant changed our relationship for the rest of our lives. My roommate took off that morning to school and it was later that evening I saw him again. He came to me and asked “Why did you leave to get coffee this morning and make it for me?” I remember replying, “Because you wanted some coffee.” To this day my friend never again yelled at me. He changed; he went through a transformation brought on by my study of Love and an act of kindness shown to him when he did not feel deserving of it.
By the way in my rhetorical question I stated above, I was pondering about extending love without wanting or receiving anything back… I found it is possible to extend love without wanting anything back, but it is impossible to extend love and not receive love back. It may not come from the one you extend it to, however love always returns to those who extend it.
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