Please read my previous post (Rock Bottom) if you have not, so that what I write here will make sense.
After I experienced the Light of Love I looked back on it, however I could not recall how long the experience was… I had no recollection of time. I remember thinking what just happened, how long did I experience this thing that just happened…. Was it a minute, 10 minutes, I had no idea. All I knew was it was the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced. It was as if I was in heaven – no perhaps I should say that heaven was a part of me. It was in me, it was me! As I sit here thinking of how to explain this in words I can not find any that could adequately explain what happen. The experience went beyond all spoken words, time and space. There were absolutely no thoughts, no words just a kind of knowing. Time itself did not exist in this state, I felt as if I had absolutely no boundaries to contain me.
I remember the first time I read in the Bible Luke 17:20-21 “Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you" I can not help but wonder if this is what heaven is like, do we each carry it inside of us, Is it Christ, the Holy Spirit, God Himself that was in this light?
While I was meditating more recently I had two more experiences. First, I was practicing forgiveness which is now something I practice often. I had my eyes closed and was meditating on a person in my life that I was never able to see eye to eye with. I really did not enjoy being around this person, he made me feel as if I did not matter, unimportant and as you know from previous posts that is one of the beliefs about myself that holds me back. I picked this person to envision because I am not only seeking to rid my life of these negative feelings but also live a life that holds no grievance against anyone. First I imagined his face and then began seeing him as a whole person next something really unexpected happened. All of a sudden he turned into a glowing warm light and I began to feel joyful and at peace, then this light shot into my body and I saw myself change into the same light, we became one - one being. Connect by the love, peace and happiness that existed in the light. We were the same, nothing could separate us, and it was as if this were our natural state. This another one of my “Miracle Moments.” Now whenever I think about or see this person I think of him as my brother no different than me and my negative feelings about him are no more.
A few days later during another time of meditation the image of the earth came into my mind. As I focused on the earth I could see people roaming on the planet. Then I saw a person begin to glow and then another and another. They were all from different parts of the world. These lights then moved into others that were near them, and the glow began to expand at first slowly and as the earth began to glow brighter and bright the feeling of peace within me began to overtake my mind it was pouring out of my heart, I began to smile, nothing could wipe it from my face, I was in a total state of joy. Then as the light within all those people grew and grew I saw the earth very rapidly disappeared into a huge glowing light. Everyone on the planted connected with one another, all enjoying the same peace, love and joy as I was experiencing. The entire world had been completely over taken by this light with no one left out. Even now as I write about this experience it is bringing back a great sense of peace and joy within me.
So many of us seek our whole lives and look outside of ourselves to find peace, joy, love and heaven; we search for it in relationships, family, careers, money, wealth, status etc… We even look up into the stars and beyond as if that is where heaven is located. Many of us are looking in the wrong place to find heaven. Is heaven separate from us.... somewhere out there? Have we all been deceived that happiness, peace and love are gained through something or someone external from ourselves?
Ever since this first experience I had with the light, it has led me down a path of seeking to obtain it all the time, it drove me, and continues to drive me in all the decision I make.
I believe heaven is inside of me as it is inside of all of us. If that is true then what is it that prevents us from seeing and experiencing this indescribable ecstasy of love, peace and joy. How can we re-connect with the light within?
What is it that blocks or hides the light within us? Our judgments, hatred, prejudices, biases, jealousy, pride things we call “sin” are obstacles that keep us focused on everything outside of ourselves. These errors in our thinking cause us to chase after the wrong things in life to try to find what is missing and make us feel special or better or worse than the next person. We look at everyone in a hierarchy way of thinking as if I am better, she is prettier, he is more muscular, homeless, wealthy, Wal-Mart greeter, accountant, blogger, we cheer for our favorite teams, mines better, you lost, we won separating ourselves from each other.
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